By Neil Gaiman and published by Headline

The View from the Cheap Seats

Trigger Warning

The Ocean at the End of the Lane

Fragile Things

Anansi Boys

American Gods

Stardust

Smoke and Mirrors

Neverwhere

How the Marquis Got His Coat Back

(a Neverwhere short story)

Illustrated editions and graphic novels

American Gods

Anansi Boys

The Monarch of the Glen

Black Dog

(illustrated by Daniel Egnéus)

Neverwhere

(illustrated by Chris Riddell)

The Truth is a Cave in the Black Mountains

(illustrated by Eddie Campbell)

How to Talk to Girls at Parties

(adaptation and artwork by Fábio Moon and Gabriel Bá)

Troll Bridge

(adaptation and artwork by Colleen Doran)

Forbidden Brides of the Faceless Slaves in the Secret House

of the Night of Dread Desire

(adaptation and artwork by Shane Oakley)

American Gods Volume 1: Shadows

(adaptation and artwork by P. Craig Russell and Scott Hampton)

MirrorMask: The Illustrated Film Script

(with Dave McKean)

I LOVE THE WAY WORDS AND

PICTURES WORK TOGETHER ON

A PAGE. I HAVE ALSO NOTICED

HOW WHEN WISE WORDS HAVE

VISUALS ADDED TO THEM, THEY

SEEM TO TRAVEL FURTHER

ONLINE, LIKE PAPER AEROPLANES

CATCHING AN UPDRAUGHT. NEIL’S

WORDS ARE SOME OF THE WISEST

I’VE FOUND, AND THE RESPONSE

WHEN I ILLUSTRATE THEM AND

POST ONLINE HAS BEEN WONDERFUL.

IT IS AN EVEN GREATER PLEASURE

TO SEE THEM COLLECTED IN THE

PAGES OF A SMALL, ELEGANTLY BOUND

BOOK.

CHRIS RIDDELL

CONTENTS

CREDO

1

WHY OUR FUTURE DEPENDS

ON LIBRARIES, READING

AND

DAYDREAMING

13

MAKING A CHAIR

33

MAKE GOOD ART

47

‘THE WORLD ALWAYS SEEMS

BRIGHTER WHEN YOU’VE JUST

MADE SOMETHING THAT

WASN’T THERE BEFORE’

NEIL GAIMAN

CCREDO

1

I BELIEVE THAT IT IS DIFFICULT TO KILL AN

IDEA BECAUSE IDEAS ARE INVISIBLE AND

CONTAGIOUS, AND THEY MOVE FAST.

I BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN SET YOUR OWN IDEAS

AGAINST IDEAS YOU DISLIKE. THAT YOU SHOULD

BE FREE TO ARGUE, EXPLAIN, CLARIFY,

DEBATE, OFFEND, INSULT, RAGE,

MOCK, SING, DRAMATISE

AND

DENY.

I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT BURNING,

MURDERING, EXPLODING PEOPLE,

SMASHING THEIR HEADS WITH ROCKS

(TO LET THE BAD IDEAS OUT),

DROWNING THEM OR EVEN DEFEATING THEM

WILL WORK TO CONTAIN IDEAS YOU

DO NOT LIKE.

IDEAS SPRING UP WHERE YOU DO NOT EXPECT

THEM, LIKE WEEDS, AND ARE AS

DIFFICULT TO CONTROL.

I BELIEVE THAT REPRESSING

IDEAS SPREADS IDEAS.

I BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE AND BOOKS AND NEWSPAPERS

ARE CONTAINERS FOR IDEAS, BUT THAT BURNING

PEOPLE WHO HOLD THE IDEAS WILL BE AS

UNSUCCESSFUL AS FIREBOMBING THE NEWSPAPER

ARCHIVES. IT IS ALREADY TOO LATE.

IT IS ALWAYS TOO LATE.

THE IDEAS ARE ALREADY OUT, HIDING BEHIND

PEOPLE’S EYES, WAITING IN THEIR THOUGHTS.

THEY CAN BE WHISPERED.

THEY CAN BE WRITTEN ON WALLS IN THE

DEAD OF NIGHT.

THEY CAN BE DRAWN.

I BELIEVE THAT IDEAS DO NOT HAVE TO BE

CORRECT TO EXIST.

I BELIEVE YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE PERFECTLY

CERTAIN THAT IMAGES OF GOD OR PROPHET

OR HUMAN THAT YOU REVERE ARE SACRED,

AND UNDEFILABLE,

JUST AS I HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE CERTAIN

OF THE SACREDNESS OF SPEECH, AND

OF THE SANCTITY OF THE RIGHT

TO MOCK, COMMENT, TO ARGUE

AND TO UTTER.

I BELIEVE I HAVE THE RIGHT TO THINK

AND SAY THE WRONG THINGS.

I BELIEVE YOUR REMEDY FOR THAT

SHOULD BE TO ARGUE WITH ME OR TO

IGNORE ME.

AND THAT I SHOULD HAVE THE SAME

REMEDY FOR THE WRONG THINGS THAT

I BELIEVE YOU THINK.

I BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE THE ABSOLUTE

RIGHT TO THINK THINGS THAT I FIND

OFFENSIVE, STUPID, PREPOSTEROUS OR DANGEROUS,

AND THAT YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SPEAK,

WRITE OR DISTRIBUTE THESE THINGS, AND THAT

I DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO

KILL YOU, MAIM YOU, HURT YOU OR

TAKE AWAY YOUR LIBERTY OR PROPERTY BECAUSE

I FIND YOUR IDEAS THREATENING OR

INSULTING OR DOWNRIGHT DISGUSTING.

YOU PROBABLY THINK SOME OF MY IDEAS

ARE PRETTY VILE TOO.

I BELIEVE THAT IN THE BATTLE BETWEEN

GUNS AND IDEAS, IDEAS WILL, EVENTUALLY,

WIN.

BECAUSE THE IDEAS ARE INVISIBLE, AND

THEY LINGER, AND, SOMETIMES,

THEY CAN EVEN BE

TRUE.

EPPUR SI MUOVE:

AND YET IT MOVES.

WHY OUR

FUTURE

DEPENDS ON

LIBRARIES,

READING

AND

DAYDREAMING

13

I SUGGEST THAT

READING FICTION, THAT READING FOR PLEASURE,

IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT

THINGS ONE CAN DO.

I’M MAKING A PLEA FOR PEOPLE TO

UNDERSTAND WHAT LIBRARIES AND LIBRARIANS

ARE, AND TO PRESERVE BOTH OF THESE

THINGS.

IT IS OBVIOUSLY IN MY INTEREST FOR PEOPLE TO

READ, FOR THEM TO READ FICTION, FOR LIBRARIES

AND LIBRARIANS TO EXIST AND HELP FOSTER

A LOVE OF READING AND

PLACES IN WHICH READING CAN OCCUR.

SO I’M BIASED AS A WRITER.

BUT I AM MUCH, MUCH MORE BIASED AS

A READER.

EVERYTHING CHANGES WHEN

WE READ.

PEOPLE WHO CANNOT UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER

CANNOT EXCHANGE IDEAS, CANNOT COMMUNICATE.

THE SIMPLEST WAY TO MAKE SURE THAT WE

RAISE LITERATE CHILDREN IS TO TEACH THEM

TO READ,

AND TO SHOW THEM THAT READING IS A

PLEASURABLE ACTIVITY.

I DON’T THINK THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A

BAD BOOK FOR CHILDREN.

IT’S TOSH. IT’S SNOBBERY AND IT’S FOOLISHNESS.

WE NEED OUR CHILDREN TO GET ONTO THE

READING LADDER: ANYTHING THAT THEY ENJOY

READING WILL MOVE THEM UP, RUNG BY RUNG,

INTO LITERACY.

YOU’RE FINDING OUT SOMETHING AS YOU READ

THAT WILL BE VITALLY IMPORTANT FOR MAKING

YOUR WAY IN THE WORD. AND IT’S THIS:

THE WORLD DOESN’T HAVE

TO BE LIKE THIS.

THINGS CAN BE DIFFERENT.

FICTION BUILDS EMPATHY.

FICTION IS SOMETHING YOU BUILD UP FROM TWENTY-SIX

LETTERS AND A HANDFUL OF PUNCTUATION MARKS,

AND YOU, AND YOU ALONE,

USING YOUR IMAGINATION, CREATE A WORLD,

AND PEOPLE IT AND LOOK OUT THROUGH OTHER EYES.

YOU’RE BEING SOMEONE ELSE, AND WHEN YOU

RETURN TO YOUR OWN WORLD, YOU’RE GOING

TO BE SLIGHTLY CHANGED.

I WAS LUCKY. I HAD AN EXCELLENT LOCAL

LIBRARY GROWING UP, AND MET THE KIND OF

LIBRARIANS WHO DID NOT MIND A SMALL,

UNACCOMPANIED BOY HEADING BACK INTO THE

CHILDREN’S LIBRARY EVERY MORNING AND

WORKING HIS WAY THROUGH THE CARD CATALOGUE,

LOOKING FOR BOOKS WITH

GHOSTS OR MAGIC OR ROCKETS

IN THEM,

LOOKING FOR VAMPIRES OR DETECTIVES OR

WITCHES OR WONDERS.

THEY WERE GOOD LIBRARIANS. THEY LIKED BOOKS

AND THEY LIKED THE BOOKS BEING READ.

THEY HAD NO SNOBBERY ABOUT ANYTHING I READ.

THEY JUST SEEMED TO LIKE THAT THERE WAS

THIS WIDE-EYED LITTLE BOY WHO LOVED

TO READ, AND THEY WOULD TALK TO ME

ABOUT THE BOOKS I WAS READING.

THEY WOULD FIND ME OTHER BOOKS.

THEY WOULD HELP.

THEY TREATED ME WITH RESPECT. I WAS NOT

USED TO BEING TREATED WITH RESPECT AS AN

EIGHT-YEAR-OLD.

LIBRARIES ARE ABOUT FREEDOM.

FREEDOM TO READ, FREEDOM OF IDEAS,

FREEDOM OF COMMUNICATION.

THEY ARE ABOUT EDUCATION,

ABOUT ENTERTAINMENT, ABOUT

MAKING SAFE SPACES AND

ABOUT ACCESS TO INFORMATION.

I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT ALL BOOKS WILL OR

SHOULD MIGRATE ONTO SCREENS:

AS DOUGLAS ADAMS ONCE POINTED OUT TO ME,

OVER TWENTY YEARS BEFORE DIGITAL BOOKS

SHOWED UP, A PHYSICAL BOOKS IS LIKE

A SHARK.

SHARKS ARE OLD: THERE WERE SHARKS

IN THE OCEAN BEFORE THE DINOSAURS. AND

THE REASON THERE ARE STILL SHARKS AROUND IS

THAT SHARKS ARE BETTER AT BEING SHARKS

THAN ANYTHING ELSE IS.

PHYSICAL BOOKS ARE TOUCH, HARD TO

DESTROY, BATH RESISTANT, SOLAR OPERATED,

FEEL GOOD IN YOUR HAND:

THEY ARE GOOD AT BEING BOOKS, AND

THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A PLACE FOR

THEM.

A LIBRARY IS A PLACE OF SAFETY,

A HAVEN FROM THE WORLD.

IT’S A PLACE WITH LIBRARIANS IN IT.

WE NEED TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO READ

AND TO ENJOY READING.

WE NEED LIBRARIES. WE NEED BOOKS.

WE NEED LITERATE CITIZENS.

BOOKS ARE THE WAY THAT THE DEAD

COMMUNICATE WITH US.

THE WAY THAT WE LEARN LESSONS FROM THOSE

WHO ARE NO LONGER WITH US, THE WAY

THAT HUMANITY HAS BUILT ON ITSELF, PROGRESSED,

MADE KNOWLEDGE INCREMENTAL

RATHER THAN SOMETHING THAT HAS TO BE

RELEARNED, OVER AND OVER.

WE HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO READ

FOR PLEASURE. IF OTHERS SEE US

READING, WE SHOW THAT READING IS

A GOOD THING.

WE HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO SUPPORT

LIBRARIES,

TO PROTEST THE CLOSURE OF

LIBRARIES.

IF YOU DO NOT VALUE LIBRARIES YOU ARE

SILENCING THE VOICES OF THE PAST AND

YOU ARE DAMAGING THE FUTURE.

FICTION IS THE LIE THAT TELLS

THE TRUTH.

WE ALL HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO DAYDREAM.

WE HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO

IMAGINE.

IT IS EASY TO PRETEND THAT NOBODY CAN

CHANGE ANYTHING, THAT SOCIETY IS HUGE

AND THE INDIVIDUAL IS LESS THAN NOTHING.

BUT THE TRUTH IS

INDIVIDUALS MAKE THE FUTURE,

AND THEY DO IT BY IMAGINING

THAT

THINGS CAN BE DIFFERENT.

ALBERT EINSTEIN WAS ONCE ASKED HOW

WE COULD MAKE OUR CHILDREN INTELLIGENT.

‘IF YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN TO BE

INTELLIGENT’, HE SAID, ‘READ THEM

FAIRY TALES. IF YOU WANT THEM TO BE

MORE INTELLIGENT, READ THEM

MORE FAIRY TALES.’

I HOPE WE CAN GIVE OUR CHILDREN A WORLD IN

WHICH THEY WILL READ, AND BE READ TO,

AND IMAGINE,

AND

UNDERSTAND.

NEIL GAIMAN

MAKING

A

CHAIR

33

TODAY I INTENDED TO BEGIN TO WRITE.

STORIES ARE WAITING LIKE DISTANT THUNDERSTORMS

GRUMBLING AND FLICKERING ON THE

GREY HORIZON

AND THERE ARE EMAILS AND INTRODUCTIONS

AND A BOOK, A WHOLE DAMN BOOK

ABOUT A COUNTRY AND A JOURNEY AND

BELIEF

I’M HERE TO WRITE.

I MADE A CHAIR.

I OPENED A CARDBOARD BOX WITH A BLADE

(I ASSEMBLED THE BLADE)

REMOVED THE PARTS, CARRIED THEM, CAREFULLY,

UP THE STAIRS.

‘FUNCTIONAL SEATING FOR TODAY’S WORKPLACE’

I PRESSED FIVE CASTERS INTO THE BASE,

LEARNED THAT THEY PRESS IN WITH A MOST

SATISFYING POP.

ATTACHED THE ARMRESTS WITH THE SCREWS.

PUZZLING OVER THE LEFT AND THE RIGHT OF IT,

THE SCREWS NOT BEING WHAT THEY SHOULD BE

AS DESCRIBED IN THE INSTRUCTIONS. AND THEN THE

BASE BENEATH THE SEAT,

WHICH ATTACHED WITH SIX 40 mm SCREWS

(THAT WERE PUZZLINGLY SIX 45 mm SCREWS).

THEN THE HEADPIECE TO THE CHAIRBACK,

THE CHAIRBACK TO THE SEAT, WHICH IS WHERE

THE PROBLEMS START AS

THE MIDDLE SCREW ON EITHER SIDE DECLINES

TO PENETRATE AND THREAD.

THIS ALL TAKES TIME. ORSON WELLES IS HARRY LIME

ON THE OLD RADIO AS I ASSEMBLE MY CHAIR.

ORSON MEETS A DAME

AND A CROOKED FORTUNE-TELLER, AND A FAT MAN,

AND A NEW YORK GANG BOSS IN EXILE,

AND HAS SLEPT WITH THE DAME, SOLVED THE

MYSTERY,

READ THE SCRIPT

AND POCKETED THE MONEY

BEFORE I HAVE ASSEMBLED MY CHAIR.

MAKING A BOOK IS A LITTLE LIKE MAKING A CHAIR.

PERHAPS IT OUGHT TO COME WITH WARNINGS,

LIKE THE CHAIR INSTRUCTIONS.

A FOLDED PIECE OF PAPER SLIPPED INTO EACH COPY,

WARNING US:

‘ONLY FOR ONE PERSON AT A TIME’

DO NOT USE AS A STOOL OR A

STEPLADDER.’

‘FAILURE TO FOLLOW THESE WARNINGS

CAN RESULT IN SERIOUS INJURY.’

ONE DAY I WILL WRITE ANOTHER BOOK, AND

WHEN I’M DONE I WILL CLIMB IT,

LIKE A STOOL OR A STEP LADDER,

OR A HIGH OLD WOODEN LADDER PROPPED

AGAINST THE SIDE OF A PLUM TREE,

IN THE AUTUMN,

AND I WILL BE GONE.

BUT FOR NOW I SHALL FOLLOW THESE WARNINGS,

AND FINISH MAKING THE

CHAIR.

NEIL GAIMAN

MAKE

GOOD

ART

47

I ESCAPED FROM SCHOOL

AS SOON AS I COULD, WHEN

THE PROSPECT OF

FOUR MORE YEARS OF

ENFORCED LEARNING BEFORE

I’D BECOME THE WRITER I WANTED TO BE

WAS STIFLING.

I GOT OUT INTO THE WORLD.

I WROTE, AND I BECAME

A BETTER WRITER THE MORE I WROTE,

AND I WROTE SOME MORE, AND

NOBODY EVER SEEMED TO MIND THAT

I WAS MAKING IT UP AS I WENT ALONG,

THEY JUST READ WHAT I WROTE

AND THEY PAID FOR IT,

OR THEY DIDN’T,

AND OFTEN THEY COMMISSIONED

ME TO WRITE SOMETHING ELSE FOR THEM.

WHICH HAS LEFT ME WITH A HEALTHY RESPECT

AND FONDNESS FOR HIGHER EDUCATION

THAT THOSE OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY,

WHO ATTENDED UNIVERSITIES,

WERE CURED OF LONG AGO.

LOOKING BACK, I’VE HAD A REMARKABLE RIDE.

I’M NOT SURE I CAN CALL IT A CAREER, BECAUSE

A CAREER IMPLIES THAT I HAD SOME KIND OF

CAREER PLAN, AND I NEVER DID.

THE NEAREST THING I HAD WAS A LIST I MADE

WHEN I WAS 15 OF EVERYTHING I WANTED TO DO:

TO WRITE AN ADULT NOVEL,

A CHILDREN’S BOOK,

A COMIC,

A MOVIE,

RECORD AN AUDIOBOOK,

WRITE AN EPISODE OF

DOCTOR WHO

. . . AND SO ON.

I DIDN’T HAVE A CAREER. I JUST DID THE

NEXT THING ON THE LIST.

SO I THOUGHT I’D TELL YOU EVERYTHING

I WISH I’D KNOWN STARTING OUT,

AND A FEW THINGS THAT, LOOKING BACK ON IT,

I SUPPOSE THAT I DID KNOW.

AND THAT I WOULD ALSO GIVE YOU

THE BEST PIECE OF ADVICE I’D EVER GOT,

WHICH I COMPLETELY FAILED TO

FOLLOW.

FIRST OF ALL:

WHEN YOU START OUT ON A CAREER IN THE ARTS

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE DOING.

THAT IS GREAT.

PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING

KNOW THE RULES, AND KNOW WHAT IS

POSSIBLE AND IMPOSSIBLE.

YOU DO NOT.

AND YOU SHOULD NOT.

THE RULES ON WHAT IS POSSIBLE AND IMPOSSIBLE IN

THE ARTS WERE MADE BY PEOPLE WHO HAD NOT

TESTED THE BOUNDS OF THE POSSIBLE BY GOING BEYOND

THEM.

AND YOU CAN.

IF YOU DON’T KNOW IT’S IMPOSSIBLE

IT’S EASIER TO DO.

AND BECAUSE NOBODY’S DONE IT BEFORE,

THEY HAVEN’T MADE UP RULES TO STOP

ANYONE DOING THAT AGAIN,

YET.

SECONDLY:

IF YOU HAVE AN IDEA OF WHAT YOU WANT

TO MAKE, WHAT, YOU WERE PUT HERE TO DO,

THEN JUST GO AND DO THAT.

AND THAT’S MUCH HARDER THAN IT SOUNDS AND,

SOMETIMES IN THE END,

SO MUCH EASIER THAN YOU MIGHT IMAGINE.

BECAUSE NORMALLY, THERE ARE THINGS YOU HAVE TO DO

BEFORE YOU CAN GET TO THE PLACE YOU WANT TO BE.

I WANTED TO WRITE COMICS AND NOVELS AND

STORIES AND FILMS SO I BECAME A JOURNALIST

BECAUSE JOURNALISTS ARE ALLOWED TO ASK

QUESTIONS, AND TO SIMPLY GO AND FIND OUT HOW

THE WORLD WORKS, AND BESIDES, TO DO THOSE

THINGS I NEEDED TO WRITE AND TO WRITE WELL,

AND I WAS BEING PAID TO LEARN HOW TO WRITE

ECONOMICALLY, CRISPLY, SOMETIMES UNDER ADVERSE

CONDITIONS, AND ON TIME.

SOMETIMES THE WAY TO DO WHAT YOU HOPE

TO DO WILL BE CLEAR CUT, AND SOMETIMES

IT WILL BE ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO DECIDE

WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE DOING THE CORRECT

THING, BECAUSE YOU’LL HAVE TO BALANCE

YOUR GOALS AND HOPES WITH

FEEDING YOURSELF, PAYING DEBTS, FINDING WORK,

SETTLING FOR WHAT YOU CAN GET.

SOMETHING THAT WORKED FOR ME WAS

IMAGINING THAT WHERE I WANTED TO BE

(AN AUTHOR, PRIMARILY OF FICTION, MAKING GOOD BOOKS,

MAKING GOOD COMICS, AND SUPPORTING MYSELF

THROUGH MY WORDS)

WAS A MOUNTAIN.

A DISTANT MOUNTAIN.

MY GOAL.

AND I KNEW THAT AS LONG AS I KEPT WALKING

TOWARDS THE MOUNTAIN I WOULD BE ALL RIGHT.

AND WHEN I TRULY WAS NOT SURE WHAT TO DO,

I COULD STOP, AND THINK ABOUT WHETHER

IT WAS TAKING ME TOWARDS OR AWAY FROM

THE MOUNTAIN.

I SAID NO TO EDITORIAL JOBS ON MAGAZINES, PROPER JOBS

THAT WOULD HAVE PAID PROPER MONEY, BECAUSE I KNEW

THAT, ATTRACTIVE THOUGH THEY WERE, FOR ME THEY

WOULD HAVE BEEN WALKING AWAY FROM

THE MOUNTAIN.

AND IF THOSE JOB OFFERS HAD COME ALONG EARLIER I

MIGHT HAVE TAKEN THEM, BECAUSE THEY STILL WOULD

HAVE BEEN CLOSER TO THE MOUNTAIN

THAN I WAS AT THE TIME.

I LEARNED TO WRITE BY WRITING.

I TENDED TO DO ANYTHING AS LONG AS IT FELT

LIKE AN ADVENTURE, AND TO

STOP WHEN IT FELT LIKE

WORK,

WHICH MEANT LIFE DID NOT FEEL

LIKE WORK.

THIRDLY: WHEN YOU START OFF, YOU HAVE TO DEAL

WITH THE PROBLEMS OF FAILURE.

YOU NEED TO BE THICK - SKINNED,

TO LEARN THAT NOT EVERY PROJECT WILL SURVIVE.

A FREELANCE LIFE, A LIFE IN THE ARTS, IS SOMETIMES

LIKE PUTTING MESSAGES IN BOTTLES, ON A

DESERT ISLAND,

AND HOPING THAT SOMEONE WILL FIND ONE OF YOUR

BOTTLES AND OPEN IT AND READ IT, AND PUT SOMETHING

IN A BOTTLE THAT WILL WASH ITS WAY BACK TO YOU:

APPRECIATION, OR A COMMISSION, OR MONEY, OR

LOVE.

AND YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT YOU MAY PUT OUT

A HUNDRED THINGS FOR EVERY BOTTLE THAT WINDS

UP COMING BACK.

THE PROBLEMS OF FAILURE ARE

PROBLEMS OF DISCOURAGEMENT,

OF HOPELESSNESS,

OF HUNGER.

YOU WANT EVERYTHING TO HAPPEN

AND YOU WANT IT NOW,

AND THINGS GO

WRONG.

MY FIRST BOOK - A PIECE OF JOURNALISM I HAD DONE FOR

THE MONEY. AND WHICH HAD ALREADY BOUGHT ME AN

ELECTRIC TYPEWRITER FROM THE ADVANCE - SHOULD

HAVE BEEN A BESTSELLER. IT SHOULD HAVE

PAID ME A LOT OF MONEY. IF THE PUBLISHER HADN’T

GONE INTO INVOLUNTARY LIQUIDATION BETWEEN THE

FIRST PRINT RUN SELLING OUT AND THE SECOND PRINTING,

AND BEFORE ANY ROYALTIES COULD BE PAID, IT

WOULD HAVE DONE.

AND I SHRUGGED,

AND I SHRUGGED, AND I STILL HAD MY ELECTRIC TYPEWRITER AND ENOUGH

MONEY TO PAY THE RENT FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS, AND

I DECIDED THAT I WOULD DO MY BEST IN FUTURE

NOT TO WRITE BOOKS JUST FOR THE MONEY.

IF YOU DIDN’T GET THE MONEY, THEN YOU DIDN’T

HAVE ANYTHING. IF I DID WORK I WAS PROUD OF,

AND I DIDN’T GET THE MONEY,

AT LEAST I’D HAVE THE WORK.

EVERY NOW AND AGAIN, I FORGET THAT RULE,

AND WHENEVER I DO, THE UNIVERSE KICKS ME

HARD AND REMINDS ME.

I DON’T KNOW THAT’ IT’S AN ISSUE FOR ANYBODY BUT ME,

BUT IT’S TRUE THAT

NOTHING I DID WHERE THE ONLY REASON FOR

DOING IT WAS THE MONEY WAS EVER

WORTH IT,

EXPECT AS BITTER EXPERIENCE.

USUALLY I DIDN’T WIND UP GETTING THE MONEY, EITHER.

THE THINGS I DID BECAUSE I WAS EXCITED,

AND WANTED TO SEE THEM EXIST IN REALITY,

HAVE NEVER LET ME DOWN, AND I’VE

NEVER REGRETTED THE TIME I SPENT

ON ANY OF

THEM.

THE PROBLEMS OF FAILURE ARE HARD.

THE PROBLEMS OF SUCCESS CAN BE HARDER

BECAUSE NOBODY WARNS YOU ABOUT

THEM.

THE FIRST PROBLEM OF ANY KIND OF EVEN LIMITED SUCCESS

IS THE UNSHAKABLE CONVICTION THAT YOU ARE

GETTING AWAY WITH SOMETHING,

AND THAT ANY MOMENT NOW

THEY WILL DISCOVER YOU.

IT’S IMPOSTER SYNDROME, SOMETHING MY WIFE,

AMANDA, CHRISTENED THE FRAUD POLICE.

IN MY CASE, I WAS CONVINCED THAT THERE WOULD

BE A KNOCK ON THE DOOR, AND A MAN WITH A CLIPBOARD

(I DON’T KNOW WHY HE CARRIED A CLIPBOARD, IN MY HEAD, BUT HE DID)

WOULD BE THERE, TO TELL ME IT WAS ALL OVER,

AND THEY HAD CAUGHT UP WITH ME, AND NOW I WOULD

HAVE TO GO AND GET A REAL JOB, ONE THAT DIDN’T

CONSIST OF MAKING THINGS UP AND WRITING THEM

DOWN, AND READING BOOKS I WANTED TO READ.

AND THEN I WOULD GO AWAY QUIETLY AND GET THE

KIND OF JOB WHERE YOU DON’T HAVE TO MAKE THINGS

UP ANYMORE.

THE PROBLEMS OF SUCCESS.

THEY’RE REAL, AND WITH LUCK YOU’LL EXPERIENCE

THEM. THE POINT WHERE YOU STOP SAYING YES

TO EVERYTHING, BECAUSE NOW THE BOTTLES YOU

THREW IN THE OCEAN ARE ALL COMING BACK,

AND HAVE TO LEARN TO SAY NO.

I WATCHED MY PEERS, AND MY FRIENDS, AND THE ONES WHO

WERE OLDER THAN ME AND WATCHED HOW MISERABLE SOME

OF THEM WERE: I’D LISTEN TO THEM TELLING ME THAT THEY

COULDN’T ENVISAGE A WORLD WHERE THEY DID WHAT THEY HAD

ALWAYS WANTED TO DO ANYMORE, BECAUSE NOW THEY HAD TO EARN

A CERTAIN AMOUNT EVERY MONTH JUST TO KEEP WHERE THEY

WERE. THEY COULDN’T GO AND DO THE THINGS THAT MATTERED,

AND THAT THEY HAD REALLY WANTED TO DO; AND THAT

SEEMED AS BIG A TRAGEDY AS ANY PROBLEM OF FAILURE.

AND AFTER THAT, THE BIGGEST PROBLEM OF SUCCESS

IS THAT THE WORLD CONSPIRES TO STOP YOU DOING THE

THING THAT YOU DO, BECAUSE YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL.

THERE WAS A DAY WHEN I LOOKED UP AND

REALISED THAT I HAD BECOME SOMEONE WHO

PROFESSIONALLY REPLIED TO EMAIL, AND WHO

WROTE AS A HOBBY.

I STARTED ANSWERING FEWER EMAILS, AND WAS

RELIEVED TO FIND I WAS WRITING MUCH MORE.

FOURTHLY: IF YOU’RE MAKING MISTAKES, IT MEANS

YOU’RE OUT THERE DOING SOMETHING.

AND THE MISTAKES IN THEMSELVES CAN BE USEFUL.

I ONCED MISSPELLED CAROLINE, IN A LETTER,

TRANSPOSING THE A AND THE O, AND I THOUGHT

‘CORALINE LOOKS LIKE A REAL NAME. . .’

AND REMEMBER THAT WHATEVER DISCIPLINE YOU ARE IN,

WHETHER YOU ARE A

MUSICIAN OR A PHOTOGRAPHER, A FINE ARTIST OR A

CARTOONIST, A WRITER, A DANCER, A DESIGNER,

WHATEVER YOU DO,

YOU HAVE ONE THING THAT’S UNIQUE

YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO

MAKE ART.

AND FOR ME, AND FOR SO MANY OF THE PEOPLE I HAVE

KNOWN, THAT’S BEEN A LIFESAVER.

THE ULTIMATE LIFESAVER.

IT GETS YOU THROUGH GOOD TIMES AND IT GETS YOU

THROUGH THE OTHER ONES.

LIFE IS SOMETIMES HARD.

THINGS GO WRONG, IN LIFE AND IN LOVE

AND IN BUSINESS AND IN FRIENDSHIP

AND IN HEALTH AND IN

ALL THE OTHER WAYS THAT

LIFE CAN GO WRONG.

AND WHEN THINGS GET TOUCH,

THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO. . .

MAKE

GOOD

ART.

I’M SERIOUS.

HUSBAND RUNS OFF WITH A POLITICIAN?

MAKE GOOD ART.

LEG CRUSHED AND THEN EATEN BY

MUTATED BOA CONSTRICTOR?

MAKE GOOD ART.

I RS ON YOUR TRAIL?

MAKE GOOD ART.

CAT EXPLODED?

MAKE GOOD ART.

SOMEBODY ON THE INTERNET THINKS

WHAT YOU DO IS STUPID OR EVIL OR

IT’S ALL BEEN DONE BEFORE?

MAKE GOOD ART.

PROBABLY THINGS WILL WORK OUT SOME HOW,

AND EVENTUALLY TIME WILL TAKE THE

STING AWAY, BUT THAT DOESN’T MATTER.

DO WHAT ONLY YOU DO BEST.

MAKE GOOD ART.

MAKE IT ON THE GOOD

DAYS TOO.

AND FIFTHLY,

WHILE YOU’RE AT IT,

MAKE YOUR ART.

DO THE STUFF THAT ONLY YOU CAN DO.

THE URGE, STARTING OUT, IS TO COPY. AND THAT’S NOT A

BAD THING. MOST OF US ONLY FIND OUR OWN VOICES AFTER

WE’VE SOUNDED LIKE A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE.

BUT THE ONE THING THAT YOU HAVE

THAT NOBODY ELSE HAS IS

YOU.

YOUR VOICE, YOUR MIND, YOUR STORY, YOUR VISION.

SO WRITE AND DRAW AND BUILD AND PLAY

AND DANCE AND LIVE AS ONLY

YOU CAN.

THE MOMENT THAT YOU FEEL THAT, JUST POSSIBLY,

YOU’RE WALKING DOWN THE STREET NAKED,

EXPOSING TOO MUCH OF YOUR HEART AND YOUR MIND

AND WHAT EXISTS ON THE INSIDE, SHOWING

TOO MUCH OF YOURSELF.

THAT’S THE MOMENT YOU MAY BE

STARTING TO GET IT RIGHT.

THE THINGS I’VE DONE THAT WORKED THE BEST WERE THE

THINGS I WAS THE LEAST CERTAIN ABOUT, THE STORIES

WHERE I WAS SURE THEY WOULD EITHER WORK, OF MORE

LIKELY BE THE KINDS OF EMBARRASSING FAILURES

PEOPLE WOULD GATHER TOGETHER AND TALK ABOUT

UNTIL THE END OF TIME.

THEY ALWAYS HAD THAT IN COMMON:

LOOKING BACK AT THEM, PEOPLE EXPLAIN WHY THEY WERE

INEVITABLE SUCCESSES. WHILE I WAS DOING THEM,

I HAD NO IDEA.

I STILL DON’T.

AND WHERE WOULD BE THE FUN IN MAKING

SOMETHING YOU KNEW WAS

GOING TO WORK?

AND SOMETIMES THE THINGS I DID

REALLY DIDN’T WORK.

THERE ARE STORIES OF MINE THAT HAVE NEVER

BEEN REPRINTED. SOME OF THEM NEVER EVEN

LEFT THE HOUSE.

BUT I LEARNED AS MUCH FROM THEM

AS I DID FROM THE THINGS THAT

WORKED.

SIXTHLY:

I WILL PASS ON SOME SECRET FREELANCER KNOWLEDGE.

SECRET KNOWLEDGE IS ALWAYS GOOD.

AND IT IS USEFUL FOR ANYONE WHO EVER PLANS TO CREATE ART

FOR OTHER PEOPLE, TO ENTER A FREELANCE WORD OF ANY KIND.

I LEARNED IT IN COMICS, BUT IT APPLIES TO OTHER FIELDS, AND

IT’S THIS:

PEOPLE GET HIRED BECAUSE, SOMEHOW, THEY GET HIRED.

IN MY CASE I DID SOMETHING WHICH THESE DAYS WOULD BE EASY

TO CHECK, AND WOULD GET ME INTO TROUBLE, AND WHEN I STARTED

OUT, IN THOSE PRE-INTERNET DAYS, SEEMED LIKE A SENSIBLE

CAREER STRATEGY: WHEN I WAS ASKED BY EDITORS WHO I’D

WORKED FOR, I LIED. I LISTED A HANDFUL OF MAGAZINES

THAT SOUNDED LIKELY, AND I SOUNDED CONFIDENT, AND I GOT

JOBS. I THEN MADE IT A POINT OF HONOUR TO HAVE WRITTEN

FOR EACH OF THE MAGAZINES I’D LISTED TO GET THAT FIRST

JOBS, SO THAT I HADN’T ACTUALLY LIED,

I’D JUST BEEN CHRONOLOGICALLY

CHALLENGED . . .

YOU GET WORK HOWEVER YOU GET

WORK.

PEOPLE KEEP WORKING, IN A FREELANCE WORLD,

AND MORE AND MORE OF TODAY’S WORLD IS FREELANCE,

BECAUSE

1. THEIR WORK IS GOOD.

AND 2. BECAUSE THEY ARE EASY TO

GET ALONG WITH.

AND 3. BECAUSE THEY DELIVER THE

WORK ON TIME.

AND YOU DON’T EVEN NEED ALL THREE. TWO OUT OF

THREE IS FINE.

PEOPLE WILL TOLERATE HOW UNPLEASANT YOU ARE

IF YOUR WORK IS GOOD

AND

YOUR DELIVER IT ON TIME.

THEY’LL FORGIVE THE LATENESS OF THE WORK

IF IT’S GOOD,

AND

IF THEY LIKE YOU.

AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE AS GOOD AS THE OTHERS

IF YOU’RE ON TIME

AND

IT’S ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO HEAR FROM YOU.

I STARTED TRYING TO THINK WHAT THE BEST ADVICE

I’D BEEN GIVEN OVER THE YEARS WAS.

AND IT CAME FROM

STEPHEN KING

TWENTY YEARS AGO, AT THE HEIGHT OF THE SUCCESS OF

SANDMAN.

I WAS WRITING A COMIC THAT PEOPLE LOVED AND WERE TAKING

SERIOUSLY. KING LIKED SANDMAN AND MY NOVEL WITH TERRY

PRATCHETT, GOOD OMENS, AND HE SAW THE MADNESS, THE

LONG SIGNING LINES, ALL THAT, AND HIS ADVICE WAS THIS:

‘THIS IS REALLY GREAT. YOU SHOULD ENJOY IT.’

AND I DIDN’T.

BEST ADVICE I GOT THAT I IGNORED. INSTEAD I

WORRIED ABOUT IT. I WORRIED ABOUT THE NEXT DEADLINE,

THE NEXT IDEA, THE NEXT STORY. THERE WASN’T A

MOMENT FOR THE NEXT FOURTEEN OR FIFTEEN YEARS THAT

I WASN’T WRITING SOMETHING IN MY HEAD, OR WONDERING

ABOUT IT. AND I DIDN’T STOP AND LOOK AROUND AND GO,

THIS IS REALLY FUN.

I WISH I’D ENJOYED IT MORE. IT’S BEEN AN AMAZING RIDE.

BUT THERE WERE PARTS OF THE RIDE I MISSED, BECAUSE

I WAS TOO WORRIED ABOUT THINGS

GOING WRONG, ABOUT WHAT CAME NEXT,

TO ENJOY THE BIT I WAS ON.

THAT WAS THE HARDEST LESSON FOR ME,

I THINK:

TO LET GO AND ENJOY

THE RIDE, BECAUSE THE

RIDE TAKES YOU TO SOME REMARKABLE

AND UNEXPECTED

PLACES.

I WISH YOU LUCK.

LUCK IS USEFUL.

OFTEN YOU WILL DISCOVER THAT THE HARDER YOU WORK,

AND THE MORE WISELY YOU WORK,

THE LUCKIER YOU GET.

BUT THERE IS LUCK, AND IT HELPS.

WE’RE IN A TRANSITIONAL WORLD RIGHT NOW, IF YOU’RE IN ANY

KIND OF ARTISTIC FIELD, BECAUSE THE NATURE OF

DISTRIBUTION IS CHANGING, THE MODELS BY WHICH CREATORS

GOT THEIR WORK OUT INTO THE WORLD, AND GOT TO KEEP

A ROOF OVER THEIR HEADS AND BUY SANDWICHES WHILE THEY

DID THAT, ARE ALL CHANGING.

I’VE TALKED TO PEOPLE AT THE TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN

IN PUBLISHING, IN BOOKSELLING, IN ALL THOSE AREAS,

AND NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE LANDSCAPE WILL

LOOK LIKE TWO YEARS FROM NOW, LET ALONE A

DECADE AWAY.

THE DISTRIBUTION CHANNELS THAT PEOPLE HAD BUILT OVER THE

LAST CENTURY OR SO ARE IN FLUX

FOR PRINT, FOR VISUAL ARTISTS, FOR MUSICIANS,

FOR CREATIVE PEOPLE OF ALL KINGS.

WHICH IS, ON ONE HAND, INTIMIDATING, AND ON THE OTHER,

IMMENSELY LIBERATING.

THE RULES,

THE ASSUMPTIONS,

THE NOW WE’RE SUPPOSED TO’S

OF HOW YOU GET YOUR WORK SEEN, AND WHAT YOU DO THEN,

ARE BREAKING DOWN.

THE GATEKEEPERS ARE LEAVING THEIR GATES.

YOU CAN BE AS CREATIVE AS YOU NEED TO BE TO GET YOUR

WORK SEEN. YOUTUBE AND THE WEB (AND WHATEVER

COMES AFTER YOUTUBE AND THE WEB) CAN GIVE YOU

MORE PEOPLE WATCHING THAN TELEVISION EVER

DID.

THE OLD RULES ARE CRUMBLING

AND NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE NEW RULES ARE.

SO MAKE UP YOUR OWN RULES.

SOMEONE ASKED ME RECENTLY HOW TO DO SOMETHING SHE

THOUGHT WAS GOING TO BE DIFFICULT. IN THIS CASE RECORDING

AN AUDIOBOOK, AND I SUGGESTED SHE PRETEND THAT SHE WAS

SOMEONE WHO COULD DO IT. NOT PRETEND TO DO IT, BUT

PRETEND SHE WAS SOMEONE WHO COULD. SHE PUT UP A NOTICE

TO THIS EFFECT ON THE STUDIO WALL, AND SHE SAID IT HELPED.

SO BE WISE,

BECAUSE THE WORLD NEEDS MORE WISDOM.

AND IF YOU CANNOT BE WISE, PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE WHO

IS WISE, AND THEN JUST BEHAVE LIKE THEY WOULD.

MAKE

INTERESTING, AMAZING, GLORIOUS, FANTASTIC

MISTAKES

BREAK RULES.

LEAVE THE WORLD MORE INTERESTING

FOR YOUR BEING HERE.

MAKE GOOD

ART.

FINIS.

Neil Gaiman

Neil Gaiman is the bestselling author and creator of

books, graphic novels, short stories, film and television

for all ages, including Neverwhere, Coraline, The

Graveyard Book, The Ocean at the End of the Lane,

The View from the Cheap Seats and the critically

acclaimed, Emmy-nominated television adaptation

of American Gods.

The recipient of numerous literary honours, Neil has

written scripts for Doctor Who, worked with authors

and artists including Terry Pratchett, Chris Riddell and

Dave McKean, and Sandman is established as one of the

classic graphic novels. In 2017, he became a Goodwill

Ambassador for UNHCR, the UN Refugee Agency.

As George R. R. Martin says: ‘There’s no one quite

like Neil Gaiman.’

@neilhimself

Discover great authors, exclusive offers, and more at hc.com

Chris Riddell

Chris Riddell is one of the UK’s top contemporary

illustrators. He has written and illustrated an exceptional

range of books and is winner of many illustration awards,

including the UNESCO Prize, the Greenaway Medal

(three times) and the Hay Festival Medal for Illustration

at the 2015 Hay Festival, where he was described as ‘the

greatest illustrator of his generation’. He served as the

Waterstones Children’s Laureate from 2015 to 2017.

Chris is also a renowned political cartoonist whose

work appears in the Observer, the Literary Review

and the New Statesman.

@chrisriddell50

Credits

The full texts were originally published as follows:

‘Credo’ copyright © 2015 by Neil Gaiman.

First published in the New Statesman.

‘Why Our Future Depends on Libraries, Reading and

Daydreaming: The Reading Agency Lecture, 2013’

copyright © 2013 by Neil Gaiman.

First published in ReadingAgency.org.uk.

‘Making a Chair’ copyright © 2011 by Neil Gaiman.

First appeared on the CD An Evening with

Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer.

Biting Dog Press limited edition, Broadsheets, 2011.

‘Make Good Art’ copyright © 2012 by Neil Gaiman.

First published on UArts.edu.

Page 101 constitutes an extension of this copyright page.

ART MATTERS. Copyright © 2018 by Neil Gaiman.

Illustrations copyright © 2018 by Chris Riddell.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

HarperCollins books may be purchased for educational,

business, or sales promotional use. For information,

please email the Special Markets Department

at SPsales@harpercollins.com.

Published in Great Britain in 2018 by

Headline Publishing Group.

FIRST U.S. EDITION

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication

Data has been applied for.

Digital Edition JANUARY 2019 ISBN: 978-0-06-294265-4

Print ISBN: 978-0-06-290620-5

About the Publisher

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Table of Contents

Also by Neil Gaiman

Title Page

Contents

Credo

Why Our Future Depends on Libraries, Reading and Daydreaming

Making a Chair

Make Good Art

About the Author

About the Illustrator

Credits

Copyright

About the Publisher